新gre作文官方范文全解析(三)
2011-06-22 14:00:30 新gre作文官方范文全解析
The argument above is weakened by the fact that it does not take into account the inherent differences between skaters who wear gear and those who do not.从本段起,连着的三个自然段就是按照原文逻辑链的顺序进行攻击和质疑。实际上,这三段对应的就是开头段的however之后的话。本段先质疑了人的本质的差异。论证方法是加条件后讨论。If is at least likely that those who wear gear may be generally more responsible and/or safety conscious individuals. The skaters who wear gear may be less likely to cause accidents through careless or dangerous behavior. It may, in fact, be their natural caution and responsibility that keeps them out of the emergency room rather than the gear itself.以上三句话展开证明第一个分支观点,论证方法就是大名鼎鼎的三段论。加入常识性条件。即本身很注意安全的人配戴保护装置==〉配戴装置后就能少出事故==〉故本身注意安全才使得少出事故。 Also, the statistic above is based entirely on those who are skating in streets and parking lots which are relatively dangerous places to skate in the first place. People who are generally more safety conscious (and therefore more likely to wear gear) may choose to skate in safer areas such as parks or back yards. 以上两句展开证明第二个分支观点,论证方法同样为大名鼎鼎的三段论,加上常识性条件。即街道公园本身不太安全==〉本身注意安全的人会选择安全的地方==〉来这里的人都是本身不太注意安全的。这里最后一点是我给补充上的,原文没有论证完全,但是基本的框架还是有的。
The statistic also goes not differentiate between severity of injuries.攻击逻辑链的第二步,受伤的程度没有说清。这里的论证方法核心是质疑隐含假设,加条件后讨论。 The conclusion that safety gear prevents severe injuries suggests that it is presumed that people come to the emergency room only with severe injuries. 指出原隐含假设。This is certainly not the case.指出它错了。 Also, given that skating is a recreational activity that may be primarily engaged in during evenings and weekends (when doctors' offices are closed), skater with less severe injuries may be especially likely to come to the emergency room for treatment. 加上人们晚上去滑的人多这个条件后讨论,最终削弱原命题。
Finally, there is absolutely no evidence provided that high quality (and presumably more expensive) gear is any more beneficial than other kinds of gear.攻击逻辑联的第三步,质量好的不一定有用。核心论证方法为列举它因和提出建议。 For example, a simple white t-shirt may provide the same preventative benefit as a higher quality, more expensive, shirt designed only for skating.简单的t-shirt也能很有用。 Before skaters are encouraged to invest heavily in gear, a more complete understanding of the benefit provided by individual pieces of gear would be helpful.
建议我们对器材考虑得更加全面些。
The argument for safety gear based on emergency room statistics could provide important information and potentially saves lives.强调原文的初衷还是很好的,就好像两个人在那里辩论,范文把原文给说急了,范文怕原文不高兴了,就再哄哄他:别看我骂了这么多,你的初衷还是好的嘛!值得肯定。 Before conclusions about the amount and kinds of investments that should be made in gear are reached, however, a more complete understanding of the benefits are needed. 范文看原文也不怎么哭了,于是最终还是委婉的表达了自己的建议。After all, a false confidence in ineffective gear could be just as dangerous as no gear at all. 最后补充论证自己的建议:论证方法为反证法。同时范文在最后吓唬一吓原文,告诉他不这样做的可怕的后果。
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